Staying strong

What a busy and hard Monday! Monday we went to the doctor in the morning and saw a on call doctor. Ella was diagnosed with Thrush. The doctor gave us three options.

1- Medication to be given 4 times a day till Thrush is gone.
2- Medication that will discolor her mouth
3- Medication that could potentially damage her liver

So no doubt about it, we went with option 1. We were instructed to give her 2ml, 1 ml in each cheek 4 times a day. We were not given any other information but this.

Ella's regular doctor called me today and asked how she was doing. Keep in mind I have never heard from a doctor himself. I have always been contacted from a nurse. I told the doctor that I havent really seen much of a response to the medication. He asked if I have been doing it after a bottle, of course I was doing it before a bottle to take the bad taste from the medication out of her mouth. We were not informed to give it to her after a bottle. So I feel stupid and now we are going to give it to her after her bottle.

Ella also had an ultrasound later Monday. The doctor said he read the results and they read that Ella's right hip was 50% immature. He gave me the orthopedic surgeons phone number and told me to get Ella into him asap. The soonest we could get Ella in is October 8th. The radiologist said that they will most likely put Ella in a brace that takes up almost the whole body, but the head and arms. He didnt mention how long she would have to be in this brace.

I feel really bad that she has to go through all these problems. I sit here and wonder if I might have played a role in her having so many problems. If I had done something wrong during pregnancy. I know not everything can be perfect and we all have flaws. But why my sweet daughter Ella, why does she have to suffer and go through so much. I start to think what if I didnt drink that pop or I ate better, would that have made a difference? During my pregnancy at 22 weeks, when we found out that Ella had DWS. I started crying wanting to know what I did and what I could have done to Ella to make her have DWS. The sweet doctor gave me a huge hug and told me that it was not my fault, he repeated over and over "This is not your fault, you did nothing wrong". This is caused by a bad chromosome. I look back at this moment and how hurt and confused I was. I use the strength Ella has and I use that myself.   I look Ella in the eyes and she has no worries, no stresses and is just as happy as can be. She rolls with it! What a beautiful girl she is and how strong she is. She is my pride and joy! We will continue to fight our ways through this and we will make it out on the top. As Brayden says "Happy". We will continue to be happy and love each and every moment we have together.

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